A new poll says Las Vegas Sands chairman Sheldon Adelson should stop having sex with animals.

Before we get to that poll, we must first examine a different poll conducted on behalf of Adelson’s Coalition to Stop Internet Gambling (CSIG). The group is beating the media drum this week, attempting to convince people that nearly three-quarters of Pennsylvanians don’t want to see their state legalize online gambling.

The automated phone poll was conducted for CSIG by Harper Polling, which is run by a former polling director for the National Republican Congressional Committee. Harper has been criticized for its reliance on technology that only works with land lines, which fits with the aging GOP base but tends to underestimate the input of younger generations who only use smartphones (and who might enjoy using those smartphones to gamble online).

Not content to rely on octogenarians who believe VCR technology is too challenging, Harper’s poll also provided participants with six seriously skewed statements regarding online gambling, then asked if each statement made a participant more or less likely to favor online gambling legislation.