I am watching Good Morning TV. The two presenters are Susannah Reid and Charlotte Hawkins: one very attractive brunette, and one very attractive blonde. They are sitting on a large sofa, only they are almost sitting on each other’s lap.

I see short skirts and shapely legs. I know this because the person handling the camera exposes a full length of flesh every few seconds or so. There is a glass table in front of the girls; high enough to hide their modesty, and low enough to keep me interested. I don’t normally watch the news – it’s depressing.

This morning, it has my full attention.

I am not interested in the guests, nor am I interested in the news. I only peek upwards from my laptop to see if they are baring any flesh. I look across at my Dad, and I know he is probably thinking exactly the same thing as me.