I hated the first few months of being a parent.

I hated the lack of sleep; the loss of closeness I had with my wife as she devoted all her time to this plump pink thing; the screaming; the crying; the lack of synergy with the plump pink thing because I had no milk in my tiny man breasts; and the boring one-way conversations I would hold in the dead of night.

Then the little plump pink thing started talking; then crawling (albeit backwards); and then walking. This was getting interesting. So this is what parenting was all about. With the dark days behind me, I was heading beyond infinity with my mate Buzz.

Then he hit 13.