United London F.C. is the world’s only managerless football team after their chairman decides to allow the fans to select the team based on a Daily Fantasy Sports style points system.

Bryan Robson was my first favourite player; then Ryan Giggs, David Beckham, Paul Scholes, and finally, Wayne Rooney. He reminded me of a young Paul Gascoigne, but lately, he has been reminding me more of Bamber Gascoigne.

Once one of the most dangerous strikers in world football he is morphing into Michael Carrick. He doesn’t tackle; he can’t head the ball; he doesn’t go past players, and when the ball is at his feet it’s like a boomerang – always going sideways and backwards.

Against Watford on the weekend, Rooney made 33 successful passes throughout the game – 12 went sideways, 15 went back, and only six went north.