Three tales that aren’t big enough to conjure up 300 words on their lonesome including Maurice Hawkins winning a Heartland Poker Tour title, Alex Jim taking down a massive World Series of Poker Circuit event at Foxwoods, and PokerStars offering an olive branch to those affected by the recent DDoS attacks.

Typically, I like to find three topics that gel in my 3: barrel articles, but it’s late, I’m cream-crackered, and I’ve missed my deadline for the second day in a row because I don’t know where I am, what day it is, or what my name is.

So.

You.