We have three fishing rods sitting in this stream, one connected to the end of 888Poker’s XL Blizzard, another with a hook stuck into the thick lip of the Spartan: Sofia Lovgren, and one beneath the molar of the elite athlete Martin Jacobson.

Switch on your miner’s lamp. You’ll need it. Amongst the dark shadows of the high rise guarantees standing in the backyards of partypoker and PokerStars, there is the $1.7m that 888Poker promised to pay players during their recent XL Blizzard.

For the past 11-days, throughout 34-events, tournament organisers at 888Poker have slathered like a dog belonging to a man named Pavlov, and the numbers are now in – the latest XL Blizzard attracted 38,515-entrants, pulling in $1,903,474 in prize money.

As successful as sorbet.