A threesome from partypoker including notification of a $10m Guarantee KO Series, a reminder that the Caribbean Poker Party begins tomorrow, and an ambassadorial check-in.

When your two-year-old kid goes quiet you know they’re not brushing their teeth, eating vegetables, or using the potty. There’s usually something dangerous going on like picking worms from your dog’s butt, sticking their fingers down their nappy and sniffing them, or drawing a cock on your new white sofa.

This morning, when my little Zia went quiet, I found her sitting in front of the tumble dryer (I know, brag, right) watching the clothes spinning around. I sat with her, screamed and fell back because I thought I saw a severed hand until I realised it was my reflection.

I’m not sure if she will ever recover.