Australian poker players finally have something to look forward to after the Star Sydney Championships release the schedule.

Remember the scene when Le Chiffre has James Bond strapped naked to a seatless chair, and continually hammers his balls with a badass looking knot at the end of a rope?

Well, those balls are Australian poker players, and the paternalistic nanny state is swinging the rope.

Those who rely on online poker to feed the kids have very few choices after the recent decision to ban online poker in the land of the cuddly koala bear. They can play illegally via virtual private networks (VPN), emigrate to a country with a more liberal attitude, play on a dodgy offshore site and wait for the next Full Tilt debacle, or play live poker.