Partypoker and Dusk till Dawn have announced full details of their Grand Prix Tour with visitations to Old Trafford, Stamford Bridge, St James Park, Cardiff City Stadium and Elland Road on the cards.

It was a fantasy of mine to watch Manchester United banging balls about the box whilst I did likewise with any bird worthy of a good rubber legging.

Then poker came into my life. Nothing had hit the vein quite like poker – not football, not even sex. My fantasy had changed. Now I wanted to play online poker whilst getting my rocks off.

Then I aged.