Southampton’s Premier League future is almost secure after beating Swansea at the Liberty Stadium, leaving the Welsh side desperate for Huddersfield to blow a gasket in their final two games of the season if they are to avoid relegation. 

Swansea 0 v 1 Southampton 

When you’ve had a baby stuck on your left boob for 18-months, the opportunity for a peaceful night in a hotel is well received. Throw a spa treatment into the mix, and you are on cloud nine.

The Vale of Glamorgan would be my other half’s home for the night. I would take care of the little one. Things went well until 7 am when she wouldn’t stop crying. I headed for the Vale desperately seeking a boob. When I got there, my wife looked like she hadn’t slept a wink.