Week 15 of the English Premier League sees Liverpool come back from a goal down to beat Burnley at Turfmoor. Wolves end their seven-game winless run with a shock home win against Chelsea, and much more. 

It’s been quite a morning.

Tears, pictures of the old and infirmed, text messages from reptilian like ex-wives (Henry VIII must have had it tough). Right now, life seems as illuminating as a pole dance in Kazakhstan. It’s time to put all of that behind me, listen to some Max Richter, read a Bukowski gem or two, steal some of Joan Didion’s pearls and get to work.

I have six English Premier League (EPL) matches to get you up to speed on so let’s get cracking.