The first round-up of Week 26 of the English Premier League sees Liverpool return to the top with a 3-0 win over Bournemouth, and Manchester United replace Chelsea in the Top 4 with a comfortable away win at Fulham.

Sitting in the corner behind empty bottles of cider is Justin. At 17-years-old he’s too young to remember footprints on the moon, a Michael Jackson tune or Liverpool’s 1980s typhoon.

“What do you think?”

“Don’t talk about it.”