Week 37 of the English Premier League sees Chelsea wrap up their fifth Premier League title with victory at The Hawthorns and Hull go down after a hammering at Selhurst Park.

If you live in the UK, there are a few things you want to avoid in the life. The first is to show your eight-year-old son Santa Claus’s flight path on the Internet at 3 am on Xmas Eve and notice the sled is above your house.

The second thing you want to avoid is a Premier League season where the 20 members of the cast rather selfishly bring the climax forward one week, leaving you with a sex without the orgasm sort of feel on the last day of the season.

It’s June.