Manchester United will face Chelsea in the final of the FA Cup after both Spurs and Southampton came up short in the penultimate stage of the oldest club cup competition in the world.

In football, losing in the semi-final of the cup feels like waking up on Christmas morning, and all you have is an apple and a few nuts. It’s a kick in the balls. You feel like heading to your Dad’s ‘secret place’ ignoring the porn, picking up the single bullet and ending it right there (although I have to admit, I would have to swallow it for it to have any effect, as my Dad doesn’t have a gun).

Spurs and Southampton players are feeling the same way about now.

Let’s start with the first of those two ’S’s’.