Portugal’s Manuel Ruivo won the $20m GTD partypoker Online MILLIONS after agreeing upon a heads-up chip deal with the Dutchman Pim De Goede that saw both players bank more than $2m apiece.

I’m listening to Sergei Rachmaninoff, trying to comprehend how it feels to discuss a heads-up deal where you have to carve up $4,639,939 like a butcher dealing with a pig’s snout.

Who plays in their ears?

Do they put the Cuba Libre down, extinguish the cigarette?