Partypoker continues to make their customers feel seen and heard after announcing plans to use the German Poker Championships as the test bed for a new concept called the ‘button ante.’

I can do without salt, coconut milk, and even toothpaste – but nappies? Now, that’s a problem, right there. You do not want to run out of nappies.

So, I run out of nappies.

I head to Boots and grab the last remaining pack. I’m standing in line, pissed off that I left my phone in the car, feeling like a sea urchin stranded on a tideless beach struggling to breathe.